Under Analysis: Why you want the clerk to like you, and other lessons

By Michelle St. Germain

The Levison Group

Right now, there are thousands of men and women in their last year of law school taking final exams, studying for final exams, and avoiding thinking about final exams. Soon, most of them will spend the better part of their summer studying for state Bar exams and avoiding studying for the state Bar. What this means is that those thousands of men and women, come the fall, will be newly minted attorneys. Most of them have never been in court before.

I have absolutely no idea how many times I have been in court, but it is “a lot.” I dutifully took trial practice in law school and got a lot of practical knowledge from the experience. One really useful bit of knowledge was learning how to make an objection. It turns out, just saying “Objection!” is not enough — you would think otherwise if television was anything like court — or court was anything like television. But there were still things not taught in any law school class that you still have to learn on “the street.”

I have been reflecting on what I wish I knew when I first stepped into the courtroom on my own, as a lawyer. Here are just some of the things I wish I had known:

1. The person in the black robe in the abnormally high chair is not necessarily the most important person in the room. Pay attention to everyone else too. There are usually lots of other attorneys — and if you make friends with them, it can pay huge dividends — referrals, figuring out the courtroom procedure (which can save you hours in a court you’re not familiar with), finding out where the nearest bathroom is and answering other absurd questions that might not amuse the judge.

Bailiffs are really important, but often overlooked. However, if he or she doesn’t like you or know you well enough to trust you, maybe he isn’t going to warn you that your client has a few warrants out for her arrest. Of course, your client forgot about the warrants (lawyers are from Mars and clients are from Venus sometimes), and therefore forgot to give you that information. Even if you got her a pretty good deal, and she was not destined for jail based on that deal, it’s not a great start to your day when your client walks away in handcuffs.

The clerk is arguably the most important person in the room. If you goof up, the clerk can save it from it being a goof at all. Maybe you were scheduled to be in 4 different courtrooms at the same time, and had a list of your cases and one of them you just missed — the clerk can save it from being dismissed. But only if she likes you. That is only one of the compelling arguments to make sure you ask the clerk how his or her morning is going.

2. Your reputation precedes you. Even if you have never had a case in front of a certain judge, your reputation in other divisions or courts matters. I like to think that they all go to lunch together every day and do nothing but talk about the lawyers that grace their courtrooms. It’s probably not true at all, and I think this is what I used to think teachers did when I was in grade school, but I do know that a bad reputation walks in the courtroom long before you do. I always hoped my good passable reputation made it in before I inevitably tripped over my own shoes as I approached the bench.

3. It’s never a bad idea to [discretely] smell your client’s breath before you walk into the courtroom — and I’m not talking about halitosis.

4. Don’t punch opposing counsel.

5. In that same vein, you need a thick skin. It is inevitable that something will happen that will ruffle your feathers at court, especially if you are a newbie. Opposing counsel will say something that you don’t agree with, or misstate the law that you know as well as the back of your hand because you researched about the issue all week. Of course, lawyers that win every point are fictional. (Right?...) You’re going to lose at some point: stranger things will happen at court other than this.

6. Take notes! You will not remember the date you continued that case to when you get back to the office, it’s virtually guaranteed. But if you do forget, just make up the date and notify the court. Well, not really. You’re going to need to look at # 1 above, regarding clerks. But if the clerk doesn’t know you, opposing counsel didn’t show up, the senior partner is breathing down your neck to find out the trial date you set on her case and you still didn’t take notes — that is when you obsessively check your local online case system. However, it really makes you feel better if you take good notes.

7. Finally, if you see a new face — a poor guy with eyes like saucers, dropping papers everywhere and so clueless that he’s sitting in the bailiff’s chair — help him out.

Under Analysis is a nationally syndicated column. Michelle St. Germain practices law in St. Louis, Missouri. You may direct comments or criticisms about this column to the Levison Group c/o this newspaper, or direct to the Levison Group via e-mail, at comments@levisongroup.com. © 2010 Under Analysis L.L.C.