Ex-con, professor team up on 'convict's eyes' book

 Man forged a friendship with his probation officer as he changed his life

By Kristen Doerschner
Beaver County Times

BEAVER, Pa. (AP) — Eric Wicklund lived a large portion of his life as, in his words, “a professional convict.”

After growing up with an abusive mother, he went through the juvenile, state and finally federal court systems. With a criminal history that includes robbery, drugs and assault, and an escape from prison, his paperwork was two files thick by the time he met federal probation officer LaVarr McBride.

That didn’t stop Wicklund, now 52 and living in Nebraska, from deciding to turn his life around. And it didn’t stop McBride, now a criminal justice professor at Penn State-Beaver, from giving him a chance to prove that he was serious about starting a new life.

“LaVarr kind of looked at my jacket (file), but he didn’t go by what was written down on paper,” Wicklund said. He said McBride told him he had to prove himself. “That’s what I did,” he said.

McBride said that during his time as a probation officer, he tried not to read the criminal history of the inmates before he met with them. He recognizes there is more to a person than what’s written on paper.

“He (Wicklund) really sincerely had a desire to change his life,” McBride said. “He made some remarkable changes.”

Since the two met more than 13 years ago, they’ve formed a strong and unique bond. Their relationship has evolved from professional to a true friendship.

“He’s not a friend; he’s a brother,” Wicklund said of McBride. “I would do anything in the world for this man — well, almost anything.”

“He had a horrible life,” McBride said of Wicklund.

Despite being abused as a child and entering the criminal justice system early, McBride said, Wicklund has never made excuses for his behavior or laid blame for his actions on anyone but himself.

The unique relationship between McBride and Wicklund has led the two giving talks at conferences around the country as well criminal justice classes. They’ve also co-authored a book, “Through a Convict’s Eyes: An Overlooked View of the Criminal Justice System.”

Wicklund said everybody knows the system is broken, but nobody does anything about it. He hopes he and McBride can start to bring about change.

“We can’t fix it alone, but maybe with us doing all the talking, we might get somebody’s attention,” he said.

The book focuses on topics including what drives a person to commit crime, the drug epidemic, the criminal justice system and the idea of restorative justice, which looks at the needs of the victims and the offenders. The book is structured with McBride giving an overview of each topic, Wicklund’s perspective and then McBride’s analysis.

McBride said there was very little editing of the sections Wicklund wrote because it is his “raw material” on his past and how he was feeling.

Wicklund said writing the book was an emotional experience.

“The first chapter was unbelievable,” Wicklund said. “I thought it would be a piece of cake. There were times I literally had to walk away because the memories would just start coming back. Back when I was doing all of this, it was no big deal. To look back is hard.”

Yet, Wicklund does look back every time he speaks to a class or at a conference. His hope is that people will learn from his experience.

“Doing the talks is my rehab. This is what I do for my rehab. I love talking to people. I love helping people,” Wicklund said. “Back in the day, it was all about me. . When I’m talking, I don’t back down from anything. Hopefully I don’t offend anyone, but I shoot straight from the hip.”

He doesn’t try to gloss over his past. He flat-out admits to the things he’s done, including a serious drug habit.

“How I’m still alive is a miracle. God had a plan for me. It’s the only way I can justify it,” Wicklund said.

He is particularly focused on reaching young people. He wants the criminal justice system to work with young offenders and see more to them than what is written in their file.

“We need to do something with the kids. We need to get to kids first. Let’s shut the pattern down. Get them when they’re young and tell them, ‘You can do more with your life,’ “ Wicklund said.

He said he wants young people to know “you’re not doing anything new . I’ve been down that road. You don’t need to go down it. Some of those roads I have paved. You don’t need to go down it. You don’t need to follow in my tracks.”

Since his release from prison, Wicklund has been working as a truck driver and gotten married. McBride said he was there with Wicklund and his now-wife when Wicklund told her about his past.

Wicklund said some inmates have the idea that once they have a criminal record, they can’t get a job and have no future.

“I could go anywhere in the country and get a job,” Wicklund said. “I’ve always thought that you’re a product, and you have to be able to sell that product. I know that I’ve got problems in the past. I don’t go into an interview trying to sugarcoat it. I walk in and say, ‘I’ve got a heck of a background, and it’s not just driving truck; if you want to give me a shot, that would be awesome.’

“I’m trying to wake people up and tell them, ‘You’re not a loss. You can’t give up and say I’ve got nothing to win,’ “ Wicklund said. “It’s crazy how people think that just because you’ve got a record that you’re just done and you’ve got nothing better to do than do crime. There is more to life than just doing crime.”