Counselor's Corner . . .

Qualities of a president

Fred Cavaiani

Every four years when candidates for President of the United States tell us why we should vote for them and why they will be good for our country, I am uncomfortably amused. So many vague statements tell us absolutely nothing. So much time and energy spent on attacking the character of the other candidates seem to be the norm. So little is concretely said of what a candidate will honestly and humbly do to make positive changes in our country. It is like reading the first sentence of a paragraph but then there is no paragraph following that explains things concretely. Whatever false innuendos can be made toward other candidates is considered a blessing and an opportunity. Then there are the absolutely stupid statements each candidate will make which become forever enshrined in golden headlines by the news media. News media define the candidates more than the candidates define themselves. It seems to be a reality of life.

Of course the hidden expectations we all hope for in the next President are that he or she should be wise, virtuous, honest, caring, compassionate, strong, courageous and a fearless leader.

Here are the qualities that I would propose for electing a President of the United States.

1. The candidate spends one hour each day in meditative silence.

2. The candidate has a mentor or therapist in which he or she shares his/her deepest feelings on a once-a-week basis.

3. The candidate speaks lovingly and humbly to everyone.

4. The candidate is concerned about how the world shows compassion and kindness to each other and has an expectation as to how each nation can do this.

5. The candidate is concerned about the poorest in our society.

6. The candidate does not believe that poor people are lazy.

7. The candidate is not hasty in judging that undocumented immigrants come here with sinister motives.

8. The candidate shows generosity toward others in their finances and personal life as exemplified in their finances.

9. The candidate believes in a spiritual life which is based on an experience of a God in their life but is not based upon a belief that their religion is better or more holy than any other person’s religion. The candidate will challenge any religion that does not promote love and kindness toward everyone believing that Love and Kindness toward all must be central in every true belief system which calls itself a religion.

10. The candidate belongs to a religious/spiritual community and participates in this community on a consistent and humble basis.

11. The candidate is pro-life but can allow others to differ in their viewpoints without condemning them or sending them to a religious hell or a legal hell.

12. The candidate wears their own political party like a loose coat and is not defined by their own political party.

13. The candidate treats those who see things differently with respect and compassion even though dissenters may not treat the candidate with respect or dignity.

14. The candidate looks at life in a broad, caring and compassionate spectrum and does not define life by one issue. Every aspect of life is considered with compassion and respect for others.

15. The candidate does not define marriage by the sexual use of body parts but by the connection of hearts between people and the respect of loving relationships for everyone.

16. The candidate is still spending one hour a day in reflective prayer and meditation.

17. The candidate continues to be kind and loving toward everyone in spite of being constantly criticized, analyzed, scrutinized, judged, condemned, character assassinated, and unjustly hated by many.

18. The candidate loves their spouse and children and sees them as a priority in the candidate’s life.

19. The candidate grieves over every woman and man who dies or is wounded in battle.

20. The candidate believes that the highest paid people in the country should be teachers, police, and the military and these most important people in our society are held to very high standards because they have the most important and needed positions in our society.

21. The candidate continues to spend an hour a day in contemplation and meditation.

22. The candidate speaks from the heart, not only from the head.

 These are the qualities of a Saint. Find one please. Our country needs a loving, spiritual, honest, compassionate, reflective and wise person to lead us and direct us. Do any of our present day candidates come close to having some of the above mentioned qualities?

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.