Counselor's Corner: Bringing peace to the world


Fred Cavaiani

The other day I had a mystical insight. I was picking up a prescription at Walgreen’s at the drive-through. The lady waiting on me was kind and friendly. At that moment the thought came to me, the only important thing in my life at this very moment is to be loving and kind toward this person on the other side of the drive-through window. And from there I began to realize that to be loving towards all is the purpose of life. From there I experienced that love is the purpose of everyone’s life. It is what makes us peaceful and what calmly energizes us. Then I realized that having a deep relationship with a loving God is also the purpose of life. To immerse myself in a loving relationship with God and in a loving relationship with others is really quite simple. But it happens in each moment of life. Then there is that third quality: Gratitude or gratefulness for whatever I have and wherever I am. Studies have shown that people who have an attitude of gratitude and people who are loving and caring towards others will live longer and more fulfilled lives. There are numerous studies on these two topics and they all point toward longer and more enjoyable and fulfilling lives for grateful and loving people. There is also much psychological and scientific evidence that people with a positive faith in God live longer and more peaceful lives.

When a person is grateful for what they have and experience, a positive energy is sent out to others. When a person treats another person with love and respect, another positive energy is sent out. When a person has a personal and peaceful relationship with God that helps them slow down and treat others with love and compassion, again another positive energy is sent forth. Any true relationship with a God should not end up condemning or judging other people. It is difficult to be around people who want to convert you. But it is easy to be around peaceful and loving people. You are more inclined to discover how they came to be this way.
We live today in a world that seems to be focusing on the negative. It seems entertaining to poke fun at other people who disagree or see things differently. How often do you hear leaders talk about the importance of loving one another and working together to bring more love and peace into the world?

Politicians and world leaders are not Saints. I wish they were. To put another person down with condemning and judgmental words helps no one. But to tell someone else about your positive beliefs and show others by positive actions that you practice love and gratitude will go a long way in promoting peace in your corner of the world.

How grateful are you at this very moment? Just look around and you and give thanks for what you are seeing and experiencing. How loving are you towards others? Just look at the next person you see and internally send them love and have an attitude of loving them and looking for the best in them. How much quiet time have you spent this day with whomever is your God? How well have you done in meditation and quiet listening to the depths of your heart today? When we become quiet we have to get to a deeper connection with God and with ourselves and we begin to see more clearly how we have blocked love and peace from entering our lives.

Thomas Merton, the Trappist monk, who died in 1968 made his life very relevant to the modern age by his books. He relates of the mystical experience he had standing on 4th and Walnut Street where he realized that everything and everyone is connected. We all have these experiences but we so often fail to deepen them with more silence, gratitude and love toward others.

What the president does or does not do is not my concern right now. What I am doing to bring more peace into my corner of the world is what I am most concerned with at this time. As I sit typing this I can see my wife in the other chair reading and dozing. I look at her and internally send her warmth and love and breathe a prayer of gratitude. I look at our little dog Daisy perched on the couch. I look at her with gratitude and love and see the goodness in her. Last night we were out to dinner with some close friends. I looked at them with love and gratitude and saw the goodness in them.

Every moment of life is a moment of gratitude. Every moment of life is a moment of bringing love to others Every moment of life is a moment to experience God. Gratitude, love and God converge together to bring more peace into the world in this present moment.

Yesterday, a good friend of mine and I went to visit a friend who is in the hospital. She is 85 and suffering from a fall and from cellulitis. In the past couple of years this humble and courageous woman has lost both her husband and two adult children. She is most inspiring and courageous and brings peace and love to all who are present. On this journey to the hospital and back it was so refreshing to talk with a friend who could share so openly and honestly and humbly.

Life is really very simple: Be grateful. Be humble. Be loving. Experience a God in your life. And be quiet and listen. I am beginning to realize that this is what I must do every day. What the rest of the world does is not going to be my concern but if I do these things, I can positively influence the rest of the world in my little corner of the world. Love can change everything. Gratitude can change me. God can always be present in each moment. And everything will get better because I will find and experience the good in each moment of my life and this will help to bring goodness and love to everything and everyone. It is really very simple. I just need to stay simple and not complicate things. I love you all and wish goodness to each of you. You are all awesome and good and I am grateful for you. Thanks be to God.


Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: and his website is