Counselor's Corner: Awakenings and new beginnings

Fred Cavaiani

Easter is over. New Life begins. Spring is here. Each year after the Easter season is completed it seems like the climate becomes warmer. The trees and grass start looking green. The air seems fresh. The cold and drabness of winter seems defeated. Sunlight, blue skies, and comfortable climate is coming closer to us. It is like hope and optimism is in the air.

Spring is a time for New Beginnings. The failures of the past and the defeat and depression of the past can give way to hope and positive feelings. It happens every year. We struggle through sleet and snow and icy roads. We become tired of the cold and dark skies. The fantasies of living in a warm climate keep surfacing. Then April comes upon us. We see some green grass. The weather says goodbye to freezing temperatures and welcomes warmth again.

Each Easter season seems to coincide with the beginning of Spring and hope. Watching three of our granddaughters, ages 6, 4, and 1, play so energetically and exuberantly this last Easter Sunday reminded me of the energy I used to have. It also reminded me that I am getting older. Yet experiencing their joy and enthusiasm for life made me realize that this joy and enthusiasm can still be present in an older body though I might not have the physical stamina of our young granddaughters. Listening to an old friend who most often spends the holidays with us and listening to the emotional energy of my wife, son, daughter and son-in-law inspired me to a profound realization. New Beginnings doesn’t mean a new body. It means simply listening to the energy inside of each of us that inspires us to think energetically and profoundly.

Emotional and spiritual energy is always present in each of us. This energy is not dependent on our age. It is dependent on our receptivity and acceptance to new and fresh ideas. Inspiration comes to each of us at every moment of life. New ideas and fresh experiences are all around us and within each of us. The real tiredness in life comes from not paying attention to the inner inspirations of the present moment.  I experienced this inner inspiration at the Easter Sunday Mass I attended. The music was so wonderfully awesome that I felt lifted to a higher plane. I found myself crying three times during the service. The cantors and the maestro on the organ and the piano became like a fresh spring lifting my soul to a higher state. It was soul stirring.

Yet I had to be receptive to this. Many times I have not been so open to this because of hanging on to my own thoughts and preconceived ideas. This day I listened attentively and let the music lift me up. I think the music had a profound effect on my whole family. But again, each of us had to let this happen.

The words spoken by the priest were also very inspiring, human and warmly embracing everyone in the congregation. But I had to let this happen.

Spring and New Beginnings can be very positive when we let things happen to us. We become receptive to what is around us.

Life is filled with New Beginnings. Life is filled with inspiration and wisdom, but I have to let it happen. When I get out of my head and into my heart I can let inspiration enter my soul and psyche. But it seems so much safer to stay in my head and analyze, rationalize and theorize. Then I don’t have to cry. I don’t have to be vulnerable. And I don’t have to trust others or listen to others.

This Easter, sitting in the fourth pew with my wife, our daughter, son-in-law and our three grand-daughters, with tears running down my cheeks with such beautiful music surrounding me, I think I experienced a new awakening. I am going to have more of these because I have been once more reminded to stay out of my head and stay in my heart. It is where I most profoundly experience life and the Source of all Life.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage and family therapist and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and Henry Ford Medical Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeastern Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other week. He can be reached at (248)362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com