Counselor's Corner: The impact we can have on others

Fred Cavaiani

On Saturday I was at Ford Field with 66,000 other people. I attended a mass where Fr. Solanus Casey OFM Cap., a humble and compassionate man who died in 1957, was beatified. This is the last step before being proclaimed a saint in the Catholic Church. Having been a Capuchin for fourteen years I grew up knowing about Father Solanus. I knew many priests and brothers who had lived with this holy man. The impact he had on the City of Detroit was absolutely amazing. His humble and compassionate attitude toward everyone made him a cherished fixture during the depression and for years afterwards.

What surprised me is that to be proclaimed blessed or a saint in the Catholic Church there must be miracles proven by medical doctors that happened after the death of that holy person who could be proclaimed a saint. Miracles during the lifetime don’t count. During the lifetime of Fr. Solanus there were many miracles that happened. Many people who had been seriously ill were told they would be all right and it happened. I have heard these stories in my office for many years.

Fr. Solanus Casey was a man of deep faith and a man who was always grateful for everyone. His famous statement “Thank God ahead of time” was daily lived by him. This man had such a powerful impact on so many people. He was always grateful for everything and conveyed this attitude of gratitude toward every person who encountered him.

This Thursday our nation celebrates a day of gratitude called Thanksgiving Day. Only grateful people and compassionate people help this world become a better place. The best influence we can have on other people is to be grateful and compassionate. When we are grateful, we will always be hopeful and optimistic.

Fr. Solanus Casey was filled with gratitude and filled with compassion for everyone. He didn’t acquire this by accident. This was a very prayerful person who spent many hours in quiet prayer and meditation. He walked gently and slowly through life. He helped start the Capuchin Soup Kitchen, which has given hope to thousands and thousands of people for many years. Fr. Solanus loved to be with the poor and the sick. In them he discovered himself entering into an even deeper relationship with God.

The two biggest foundations of a successful and enriching life are to spend quiet time each day with God and to compassionately reach out to other people. Mother Teresa did this and became known throughout the world.
Fr. Solanus did this and 66,000 people came to attend a mass in his honor at Ford Field last Saturday afternoon.

The best impact and presence we can leave on other people is to be prayerful, compassionate and grateful. Fr. Solanus Casey OFM Cap. was no great preacher. In fact he wasn’t even allowed to preach because they didn’t think he was smart enough to do this. He wasn’t allowed to hear confessions for the same reason. Yet thousands upon thousands of people came to speak with him even for just a few minutes. They knew they could experience God in a very loving manner when they spoke with him.

Who has impacted your life the most? If you look deeply into this question I think you will discover it was usually someone who was always compassionate and loving toward you. And if you look even deeper I suspect you will discover that this same person was also reflective and prayerful and had a personal and deep relationship with God.

On Saturday afternoon I saw much joy and such dedicated, loving and prayerful people who had come from all over the world to be at Ford Field. No one seemed to be in a rush. There was warmth and respect between everyone in the stadium which was filled. That was a miracle in itself.

On this Thanksgiving Day, 2017, increase your gratitude for everything. Find something in everyone and everything for which to be grateful. It can be done. When we are in the mode of gratefulness, all negativity seems to leave us. We become positive, kind and loving. This is the impact you can have on your family, your city, your world. Stay in gratitude. Remain each day in a quiet mode for a period of time. Happy Gratitude Day everyone.
You can change the world into a better place. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. We are all on this journey of life together.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.