Commentary: Sugar daddies to the rescue

   by Alissa Gulin

    Dolan Media Newswires
     
    BALTIMORE, MD -- Officials on Capitol Hill and consumers across America, rest easy. Your Healthcare.gov woes will soon melt away.
 
    The “world-class programmers” behind SugarDaddyForMe.com have offered to diagnose and fix the exchange’s problems — at their own expense — to ensure it “works perfectly once and for all,” according to Gautam Sharma, founder of the dating website.
 
    Of course, to call SugarDaddyForMe.com a “dating” website would be to use the term loosely — the site matches up millionaires with women who…wish they were millionaires.
 
    Sharma thinks his website’s target audience is pretty similar to that of Healthcare.gov, which he said makes SugarDaddyForMe.com an obvious choice to step in and fix those pesky glitches everyone keeps talking about.
 
    That sounds totally doable. After all, SugarDaddyForMe.com is “far more complex than Healthcare.gov in many ways," Sharma said.
 
    “We have a lot of women using the site who are, you know, not doing that great financially — maybe they’re single mothers — and they could really use a [health exchange] site that works so they can get affordable health care,” Sharma said. “So we looked at [the exchange website] and thought, ‘It’s not that different from ours.’”
 
    Sharma recognizes that the subject matter is different, but said SugarDaddyForMe.com is more complex because it has “more interactive features and more data to be stored that has to be pulled up at any moment.”
 
    (Right — because users of Healthcare.gov don’t care about pulling up their information or receiving accurate feedback from the site’s calculators about their eligibility for tax credits or Medicaid enrollment.)
 
    But SugarDaddyForMe.com, which launched in 2005, has a better track record than Healthcare.gov, Sharma said. The site has more than 4 million users, and another 2,000 join each month —Healthcare.gov has performed properly for a fraction of that number!
 
    Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies can create personal profiles and upload an “unlimited number of photos of any size that can be pulled up on demand within 1 second,” Sharma said — Healthcare.gov keeps people hanging for hours!
 
    SugarDaddy members can exchange Instant Messages with an unlimited number of users simultaneously, communicate via webcams and share virtual calendars to find times to meet up in person — Healthcare.gov doesn’t even let users send “virtual kisses.”
 
    SugarDaddy users can start a free 30-day trial of the website so they can “find the exact kind of person they are seeking by searching for … location, age, gender, marital status, height, body type, if they have photos, if they are online now…and much more.” Healthcare.gov users must create an account before finding the exact health plan that tickles their fancy.
 
    Sharma hasn’t actually approached federal officials to offer his employees’ services — he’s not sure who to call, he said — but he hopes the pitch will eventually get back to them. He’s also not concerned about getting whatever security clearances they might need in order to take on the project.
 
    SugarDaddyForMe.com is clearly out of Obamacare’s league, but its programmers are willing to offer their services without expecting any sexual favors in return.
 
    How sweet.
 
 
 

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