Tracy K. Lorenz ...

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Typing Out Loud

I have to hand it to the Democrats, they’re absolutely relentless. They’re wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME but they just shake it off and press on to their next attempt at destroying lives and spending money. Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Freddy Grey, The Catholic Kid and the Indian, Brett Kavanaugh, The Duke Lacrosse Team, Tawana Brawly, Jussie Smollett, “Russia,” WWIII with North Korea, WWIII with Iran, “Global Warming,” “Gun Free Zones.”
Sanctuary Cities, Kids in Cages, The Paris Climate Accord,  “Hillary in a landslide” and now their latest loss at that sham of an impeachment. Wrong wrong wrong wrong every ... single ... time but they just shake it off and forge ahead with their hate filled nitwittery. It’s gotta be getting old by now.

During pharmaceutical commercials, instead of reading the disclaimer at the end, they should have the background actors act out the side effects. Jan and Ellen are in a coffee shop talking about Xemephera, meanwhile the barista is doubled over from cramps, the mailman has bloated eyeballs, the lady in the next booth has hot dog fingers ...

For all we know when dogs bark at each other in the street they could be throwing all-out racial slurs against another breed of dog.

Technically, I have never lost a fight with a bear.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” have very similar meanings unless you’re at a funeral.

Horses run on their fingernails.

For every food we eat someone once said, “I’ll give that a shot.”

How long do you think it’ll be before a World Cup Soccer Match has a half hour show at intermission promoting American Culture, where dancers dance around in American flags and openly mock the leader of the host country?

Speaking of which, it’s The Super Bowl, guys have watched dozens and dozens of games throughout the season and never once thought “Boy, we need more fifty-year-old millionaire pole dancers at halftime.” Like it or not football is a (predominantly) guy thing, an American guy thing, we’re totally happy not being entertained at halftime. The Super Bowl could put the Ohio State Marching Band on and not a single guy would complain. At some point we’ve got to say enough with the pedomorphic displays by washed-up singers trying to educate us, just get back to the damn game, I have squares to lose.

Every “loading” circle of a computer screen rotates clockwise, I wonder if they go the other way in the southern hemisphere?

Because of the movement of the Milky Way, the place you were born is millions of miles from where you are now.

It would have been cool if Trump would have shook Pelosi’s hand, only maybe clenched it a little harder than normal so she had to sort of genuflect from pain. 

The way people killed time standing in line for the first iPhone release was probably way different from the second.

Printed by permission of the author. Email him at Lorenzatlarge@aol.com.
Get Tracy’s latest book at BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com, or  download it from www.fastpencil.com.
Only $3.99, cheap.

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