Counselor's Corner . . .

The psychology of a resurrected life

Fred Cavaiani

We just celebrated Easter.  Springtime has arrived. New beginnings happen.  Church attendance increases on religious holidays. We reflect deeper. The significance of Easter is larger than eggs and bunnies. The Christian tradition celebrates a resurrection to a new life. Every religion contains a resurrection theme in some manner. Christians believe that Christ rose from the dead to break through a barrier that helps every person to embrace the cross and the struggles in their life. This embrace of struggles and pain leads to a new life and Easter celebrates this strength given to each person to rise from struggles to a deeper and more peaceful life.  The final embrace is death and the final resurrection is a joy-filled heaven that lasts forever.

I have always been impressed by this theme of cross/struggle and resurrection/peace and joy/new life. It manifests itself in every aspect of life and every religion contains this theme in some manner. Some religions might thwart this theme by adding some sort of justification for violence, but the theme is still there in some manner.

If we simply focused on embracing each moment of life with intense focus and an open-hearted embrace, amazing experiences of wisdom and peace would happen. It is the same with evolution. There is always a letting go of something and a new life emerging. This is true emotionally and spiritually.

The psychology of living a resurrected life is simple. Focus and embrace the present moment in an unhurried manner.  Listen and experience what is happening at this moment. It becomes a divine experience of something big even if you are in the midst of pain or in the ecstasy of joy.

I am always amazed at how the churches are packed at Easter and Christmas. This happens because everyone really is looking for something deeper in life which is permanent and lasting.  There are cycles in the year in which we are challenged to look deeper at life. Easter and springtime are part of those cycles.

The symbolism of living a new life or a resurrected life is basic to human existence. I am deeply inspired by the resilience of people who have suffered a personal loss or have to change their whole way of life because of some diminishment in their life or in their family. Watching and experiencing this new embrace of life is inspiring and uplifting. It keeps reminding me that it is not what happens to us in life that is the problem. It is what we do with what happens to us.

 If there were no religions we would have to invent one to explain what is really before our eyes at every moment of life: struggle (or cross) and resurrection (or new life). The journey of life convinces me that there must be a God behind all of this because everything does make sense.  What doesn’t make sense is fighting against what I have to face each moment of life. What doesn’t make sense is staying miserable and angry because you are not the way I think you should be. What doesn’t make sense to me is having no belief in a power/god that is discovered in each moment of life because I experience this awesome presence in each moment of life.  What doesn’t make sense is staying miserable and regretful because things don’t go my way.  What doesn’t make sense is worrying about how people should be and investing energy into changing you so I can be happy.

What does make sense is my willingness to become gently, quietly and attentively focused on this very moment. I experience something profound and loving in each of these moments. I experience a sense of organization, a beauty and a powerful presence in each of these moments. In church on Sunday I was watching my four granddaughters sitting in front of me and next to me with their parents. The beauty, love, and  compassion between these four beautiful girls and their parents were loving and profound. Listening to the music of the choir, the organ, piano, trumpets and flute brought me into a deeper realm of life. But I had to be there to embrace it and experience it. I had to be in the present moment attentive, receptive and focused.

I will never live a resurrected life if I simply stay in my head and analyze myself out of experiencing the present moment. I will never live a resurrected life if I think I have all the answers and that my ego is the best and brightest ego around. I will never live a resurrected life if I convince myself that there is no awesome power of love, goodness and compassion that is within everything and everyone.

As life goes on I become more convinced that everything good, holy and loving, wise, permanent and eternal takes place in the gentle embrace of the present moment.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage and family therapist and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and Henry Ford Medical Center. Cavaiani conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeastern Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at (248)362-3340. His e-mail address is Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com