Two days ago, we celebrated Father's Day. Many families come together to show love and respect for dads. Days like these help us to focus on what is good about someone else. What if each moment of life was an occasion to look for goodness in other people? Each May and June we look for goodness in mothers and fathers. Yesterday was Juneteenth and we celebrated the end of slavery in our country.
What if each day could be a celebration of goodness and love? The truth is that it can be just that if we decide to focus on goodness and love.
Whenever I become tired or discouraged as my aging body tells me about my physical limitations, I stop and focus on what is good around me. I 'look for goodness' and I will discover it in everything I see and in every one I see. But I can choose to do this. And lo and behold my mood is uplifted.
When I look for goodness, I will experience gratitude. When I look at something negatively, I will experience sadness. Looking for goodness uplifts my spirit. Looking at life in a condemning manner, dampens my spirit.
There is always goodness around me. I just need to focus on this goodness. It is amazing how a positive focus relaxes my body and nurtures my soul.
We have three adult children and seven grandchildren. I see such goodness in each of our children and their spouses and in each grandchild. Whenever we all get together, I see goodness and only focus on goodness.
I have many friends whom I wish I could see more often. But when I think of them, I am focusing only on their goodness.
When I think of my relatives, I want to only see goodness so I only focus on their goodness.
When I talk with other people, I choose to speak only positively and speak and act in a loving and kind manner. This simple attitude helps me to walk through life in a happy and peaceful mood.
I am convinced that life is meant to be spent in experiencing goodness. But I must choose to do this. When I make this choice, I discover that I will also experience a connection with God and search for the goodness of God in everything.
It amazes me how a choice to be loving and positive can have such a positive influence on my life. I am realizing more that if I choose to be negative, I am choosing to have a negative influence on my life. This is a choice I do not want to make. Happiness is a choice. Love is a choice. Experiencing God is a choice. Making loving connections with people is a choice. To live a happy life is a choice. All these choices connect when I look for goodness in this present moment.
I can choose to be positive. I can choose to be loving. Such a simple and obvious thought which I can easily forget and quickly minimize. But what if I make the effort to remember to be loving and look for goodness. What if I decide never to minimize this? What if I consciously make the effort throughout each day to look for goodness and be loving and grateful?
Goodness is everywhere. Love is everywhere. And everyone wants love and goodness. But it takes effort and a conscious decision to seek goodness and love in each moment. I am going to make this effort right now and keep making this effort for the rest of my life. Be gone negativity. Welcome goodness and love.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.
