Last week my wife was in Troy Beaumont Hospital for five days. She had cellulitis and as a result had to have an operation after being admitted through ER. It was quite serious and of course our whole family was very worried. We felt so helpless. Her leg had been so swollen and we had been worried that it was blood clots. So here we are two scared people totally dependent upon the medical personnel surrounding us. The compassionate presence of the medical personnel inspired me tremendously. And each day on my journey to visit my wife I had to ask directions and questions of where to go. Every person who worked there would answer my questions with care and compassion. I felt surrounded by compassionate women and men who were always ready to help me. Their first reaction to my wife and to me was to be connected to us and discover how they could help us. I felt surrounded by such a compassionate connection coming to me from caring people.
This compassionate connection from the Beaumont Staff continued for all five days. Every nurse, doctor, office worker, etc. radiated a sense of compassion and concern. My wife is also very compassionate and connects with people very quickly. I was profoundly inspired watching this positive interactionbetween the staff and my witty and compassionate wife. I think she connected with everyone who entered her room and this interaction became a loving connection.
Healing happens when there is a compassionate connection with other people. When I feel connected to someone else in a compassionate manner, my inner person feels loved. My body begins to relax. Healing begins because at this moment tension begins to disappear because I feel loved and feel connected to a caring person. As I drove to the hospital each day, I could depend upon the realization that every employee would treat me with care and concern.
The power of compassionate connection with people becomes a healing connection, emotionally, spiritually and even physically. I have always believed this but this past week I experienced it powerfully.
When someone treats us in a loving and compassionate manner, something happens to us that remains with us: an experience of love and kindness. I couldn't get my article in to the Legal News last week and the editor, Eric, treated me with so much kindness and patience. I, again felt a compassionate kindness that was so positive and helpful.
Life becomes more meaningful when Love is present. There is such an internal experience of feeling loved when compassion comes to us from another person. Loving connections erase negativity and bad memories. Loving connections promote emotional healings. Loving connections relax our bodies so they can heal. Loving connections gently nudge us toward a spiritual journey into God. This is such a simple concept which we can easily minimize. However, for me, this past week, I experienced the profound depth and power of "compassionate connections".
For the rest of my life, I am going to practice the attitude of having a "compassionate connection" with everyone in my presence. This positive journey of having a "compassionate connection" with everyone eliminates negativity and promotes a positive and loving attitude toward myself and toward life. There is much power in promoting loving connections with each other.
This experience of powerlessness and becoming so dependent upon others has been an increasing awareness of what life is all about: keep making compassionate connections with other people and healing will begin to be experienced in many different ways.
Imagine what could happen if more people realized the power of compassionate connections. I was very impressed that the Beaumont System could so clearly understand the power of compassionate connections.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.
