Where are you traveling in your life? The older I get, the more I say goodbye to friends who have stepped through that final door to eternity. It consistently reminds me of the shortness of life on this earth and then challenges me more about what life is all about and what happens after this short life is over. A good friend of our family just returned from the hospital. Her husband, a kind and loving man, died last July. She is dealing with this loss and the loss of another good friend of hers who recently died. All of us have known each other for many years. I was so inspired listening to her talk about how she sees life. She is so grateful that she has a positive experience of God at this point in her life. It profoundly helps me realize again the purpose of life: to be kind and loving to all, to experience a Loving God, and to remain in the present moment of life practicing these principles of being kind and loving and experiencing God.
This theme keeps entering my heart and mind every day. No matter how young I am or how old I am the same theme is always present: What brings Joy and Happiness and Peace in this present moment? Over and over again I realize that Joy and Happiness in each moment is the result of how gently and reflectively I remain in this present moment. The journey through life is always the journey into the present moment. Toddlers seem to remain in the present moment and everything becomes a glorious journey of exploration and experience. Maybe the secret of life is to maintain this joyful, exuberant attitude of toddlers who know how to experience the present moment.
Each moment of life is a simple journey into the present moment. I find myself remembering past joyful and painful events of childhood. When this happens in the present moment, I simply embrace these feelings and I become grateful even when the memory was painful. Nothing has to change except my willingness to embrace this moment. I do not have to fix the past or the future. I only have to gently and reflectively remain in the present moment. It is such a profoundly, simple thought. It makes my journey through life meaningful in this moment. But so often I can remain in regrets of the past or anticipation of the future. Both of these attitudes imprison me and make my journey through life tense and anxious.
In my quiet time each morning in meditation, I am becoming more aware of the importance of simply staying gently and reflectively in this present moment. I do not need to invest in how the world should be. I simply need to invest in being more reflective and kinder and aware of how to embrace this present moment.
My journey through life must be a simple journey of acceptance and love. There is a quiet peace and serenity in the embrace of the present moment. I do not have to embrace in any negativity. I do not have to embrace the worries about how other people might think about me. These are useless meanderings. I simply need to make my journey through life a quiet and gentle embrace and reflection on this present moment.
Tension, anxiety and depression become the result of avoiding the present moment. I don't have to analyze things. I simply need to experience this present moment with an open heart and open mind.
My journey through life must be gentle, slow and reflective. I simply need to slowly be in this present, glorious moment and I do not have to invest in the next moment. I then discover the secret of eternal peace and joy. This attitude really works but because it is so simple it feels almost unreal. What an inspiring journey it is for me to stay simple and uncomplicated. And writing these articles over the many years for these newspapers has been powerfully helpful to me in my journey through life.
––––––––
Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.
