Counselor's Corner

 The purpose of the present moment

Fred Cavaiani

The purpose of life is a question we are all faced with. In our intense searching and our hard work to live a purpose-driven life, we can find ourselves rushing to the next moment, looking for the next success or the next pleasure. Each of us wants fulfillment. We wish to be happy. If only we could be worry free and have wonderful health and enough money to do whatever we wish. What glorious fantasies come upon us at these moments. Yet each of us knows people who become diminished from poor health. Emotional struggles and tragedies keep happening to us and to people around us. The goal of a completely worry free life is elusive. The hope of a healthy life, physically and emotionally, seems to be a fantasy. There is always something happening that bursts our happy and serene bubble. This is life. Many years ago, Scott Peck, started his book “The Road Less Traveled” with this sentence: “Life is difficult.” When I read that so many years ago, I thought that this was a very pessimistic statement. Yet as the years go on, I realize what a profoundly realistic statement of life these three words are. Yes, life is difficult. 

But difficulty and joy are not contradictory words. When I search for something in the next moment to make me happy, I am avoiding life. When my energy is spent on consistent worry and fear about the next moment, I am missing life.

A life well lived is a life always lived in the present moment. As I type this article, it is the most important thing to do at this moment. My focus on these words helps me to become fully alive. 

Each moment of life has a purpose. This purpose is filled with life, hope, peace and love. The problem is that we fail to focus on this present moment. It is only in an attentive focus and welcome embrace of the present that I become fully alive. 

This past weekend we were at our little “cottage” near Port Austin, Michigan. As I sat on the screened in porch looking into the woods, meditating and listening to the birds, I felt serene, content and peaceful. It was like an experience of God falling upon me, surrounding me and embracing me. I simply was in the present moment. Later on Saturday afternoon I attended mass at a local church. I thought I was at a senior citizen meeting as I looked around the church. Then I began to realize that most of these people were just a few years older or a few years younger than me. I wanted the mass to be quickly over so my wife and I could go and have dinner at a new restaurant. I had just taken myself out of the present moment and was planning the future. Suddenly I got a better hold on myself, paid attention to every word of the liturgy and embraced each moment and each person with total attentiveness. Again I was filled with peace and a sense of wisdom. I had returned to the present moment and found a purpose and meaning in that moment. Having dinner with my wife, I set down my cell phone and listened attentively to what she was saying. It was another meaningful moment.

Life is now. Peace is now. Joy is now. The meaning of life is now. The purpose of life is now. Pay attention to the present moment and you will discover wisdom and peace. Do not rush to the next moment. It will come quick enough. Read reflectively. Listen attentively. Look at everything and everyone with respectful regard and absolute attentiveness. Don’t try to fix people. Just love them. Experience everything and everyone. The energy found in the present moment will energize you into a peaceful experience of life. 

True it is easier to jump out of this moment into a preoccupation with what you should be doing next. We discover the next moment more profoundly by our experience of the meaningful moment of the present.

Older people have a tendency to walk through life at a slower pace. I think this is because they have a realization that there may not be an abundance of future moments for them. Many older people discover that the present moment is what is most important. Younger people who discover this are looked upon as wise or “old souls.” 

I think the meaningful moment of the present is where each of us discovers God. It is where we experience peace. And last of all, the meaningful moment of the present is where the answers about life come to us. These answers are always in the present moment. So pay attention to this moment. You will be pleasantly and peacefully surprised.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage and family therapist and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and Henry Ford Medical Center. Fred serves on the Oakland County Senior Advisory Council. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeastern Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at (248)362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.