Lisa Henderson-Newlin, The Levison Group
I'm a crazy dog lady. Pretty much everyone who knows me is aware of it. From the dog hair on my shirt to the way I say "Good boy" to the interns, it's pretty clear I'm a dog lady. And a crazy one at that. Hence, the moniker.
Because I don't want to make a liar out of those who lovingly refer to me as such, I recently decided to become a full-fledged Crazy Town citizen and take in two foster puppies for a week. Aside from the fact this alone makes me crazy in many people's eyes, the fact we have three dogs of our own compounds the craziness. And yet, I still did it.
My husband and I are very active in animal rescue and we've fostered dogs in the past so this wasn't a big deal for us. In fact, the last foster dog we had we foster-failed and ended up adopting...although I contend that the goal of a foster home is to find the dog a good home, and I did that. So I call it a foster-success.
Regardless, we agreed to foster two puppies that were already adopted but weren't ready to go to their homes for about a week. I figured that wouldn't be too long and it would be kind of fun to have puppies again. Obviously, I really have become the crazy dog lady people call me because that idea was insane.
Don't get me wrong, I love the little pups but they are lot of work and have a lot of energy. So the other night when I was playing with them and trying to come up with an idea for this week's column, I got to thinking that puppies are comparable to lawyers in a lot of ways. In light of this revelation I've made a list of reasons why they are so similar.
1. They're stubborn.
I don't think I've ever heard someone describe lawyers or puppies as pushovers. No. Just no.
2. Training one is positively the worst.
I feel like this one is self-explanatory.
3. Even the nicest ones have a nemesis.
Sometimes it's another attorney. Sometimes it's a toy squirrel.
4. They eat often.
Whether it's midnight snacking or midday lunch, they can never get enough.
5. They resist naps.
Both a puppy and a lawyer can be doing something and start to nod off but instead of taking a small siesta, both will force themselves to continue.
6. They snore.
I don't know this for sure but I just have a feeling on this one.
7. Both cost a lot of money.
From law school to toy squirrels, both will cost you a pretty penny. And a not so pretty penny too. They will cost you pretty much all our pennies...and quarters...
8. They need a lot of medical care.
From antacid pills to booster shots, medications and trips to the doctor are frequent (and pricey. See #7 above).
9. They're messy.
Whether it's shredding documents or shredding a toy squirrel, they both leave a big mess...that someone else usually cleans up.
10. They're resourceful.
From crafting a legal argument from a few flimsy cases to crafting a kennel-escape from a few flimsy pieces of string, both have a way of getting themselves out of jams. Lawyers figuratively, puppies literally.
11. Both like newspaper...
Albeit for different reasons.
Have I convinced you? Not that I'm a crazy dog lady. I think we can agree that's now a fact. But hopefully I've convinced you that lawyers are just like puppies. Either way, one thing we can all agree on is that both puppies and lawyers are all full of....love.
What did you think I was going to say?
Under Analysis is a nationally syndicated column of The Levison Group. Lisa Henderson-Newlin is a shareholder of the law firm McAnany Van Cleave and Phillips. She's a contributing writer at NickMom, YourTango, Bustle, EliteDaily and others. She also writes a humor website, LisaNewlin.com. Contact Lisa at lhenderson@mvplaw.com or contact Under Analysis by email at comments@levisongroup.com.
© 2015 Under Analysis L.L.C.
Published: Fri, Mar 27, 2015
