The never-ending email chain: How to break the cycle
Lisa Henderson-Newlin, The Levison Group
As a lawyer, I get a bazillion emails a day. Granted, most of them are ebay updates on the status of my bids on large amounts of dog jewelry, but still, I get a lot of emails. So what I really despise (aside from the “reply all” function, which I’ve written about before), is the continuous email chain. You know what I’m talking about. It’s the chain that just won’t die and just when you think you can finally delete the whole thing, someone responds back and you’re left wondering if it will ever be over. Despite your best efforts, it keeps hanging on and you’ve somehow reached the point where even you don’t know if you should be the one to end it.
Fortunately, this problem isn’t a daily one, or at least I hope it’s not. But when this unfortunate scenario presents itself, it’s hard to determine the proper etiquette for how to end that never-ending email chain. Should you just abruptly stop responding to the written tennis match that’s taking up far too much of your time? Should you simply say that you’re signing off? How does one know when it’s okay to end the back and forth of an email chain that won’t go down without a fight?
Fortunately for you, I’ve come up with a few easy questions you can ask yourself to help figure out if the email chain is ready to be put out of its misery, or if your misery must continue with another round.
Is your response less than 5 words?
If so, it's probably not necessary. Granted, we all hate long emails, but at the same time, we hate frivolous ones even more. It's a true conundrum.
Is what you’re about to type a cliché?
If it is, then don’t. Just don’t. In fact, don’t speak that cliché out loud either, mostly because no one wants to hear (or read) it. “It is what it is.” Yeah. we know. We all know that an apple is an apple. Got it. And we’ve also learned from anyone using a cliché that an idiot is also an idiot.
Is your response simply addressing the day of the week?
If so, then don’t respond. The person on the other end of your email knows what day it is. In fact, it’s actually included on every email, and on their calendar too. Chances are also good that the person on the receiving end of your email already had to make small talk this morning with the doorman and this was (and is always) the topic of conversation with him. So “It’s Monday” isn’t really necessary. Plus, if it's either Monday or Friday, the recipient probably isn’t reading your response anyway.
Is your response just an emoticon?
If so, then skip the response. The other person doesn’t need an inbox full of faces in varying stages of a smile or frown, and that person definitely doesn’t want to see your beloved emoticon of a laughing cat. When would a cat laugh anyway? Definitely not at whatever lame joke you told yourself while typing the emoticon.
Is your response simply two letters repeated numerous times?
If so, then skip it. Things like ha ha ha ha and ok ok are pointless and I doubt you're really laughing when you say you are. Don't be a liar and just end the email chain. Things like this are NO laughing matter. (Just ask those stupid laughing cats.)
Is the response you’re considering redundant?
Is the response you’re considering redundant? What? I already said that? Yeah, I did. Being redundant is annoying isn’t it? So if you’ve already basically said what you’re about to say a different way, then don’t do it. Just end it already.
Hopefully that gives you some ideas about when it’s okay to draw the line and end that obnoxious email chain that keeps filling your inbox. And if you don’t want to use these tips for all emails, please definitely use them when emailing back and forth with me. After all, I have ebay items I need to get back to stalking.
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Under Analysis is a nationally syndicated column of The Levison Group. Lisa Henderson-Newlin is a shareholder of the law firm McAnany Van Cleave and Phillips. She’s a contributing writer at Huffington Post, NickMom, YourTango, Bustle, EliteDaily and others. She also writes a humor website, LisaNewlin.com. Contact Lisa at lhenderson@mvplaw.com or contact Under Analysis by email at comments@levisongroup.com.
©2015 Under Analysis, LLC.
