Counselor's Corner: Love and peace in a hurting world


The world hurts. COVID-19 has caused many deaths. Political unrest in our country brings fear. The abundance of untruths and partial truths cause confusion. Who does one believe politically when so many lies have been presented and so many intense overreactions to lies have been presented? Do you want to remain a Democrat, a Republican, an Independent? Do you actually believe that whatever you think and believe is the absolute truth for everyone? We are all hurting. There is sadness and fear throughout our whole nation and throughout the world. Many comparisons are being made right now to what had happened in Nazi Germany where good people often remained silent about Adolph Hitler who was a supreme dictator with so much power. Wars and persecutions and silence by good people have been with us for a long time. At the same time there have been many good people who have died for the loving expression of their beliefs and their willingness to confront lies and cruel behavior.

The world will always be a hurting world because not everyone will live a life of love and compassion for others. Politicians and political conflicts will always be with us. Love and compassion for others can easily get pushed away when there is political conflict and when leaders do not put love and compassion for all as a supreme first.

But we as individuals can have a solution for the effects of a world COVID-19 epidemic. We can have a solution for political unrest and the fears of domestic violence in our nation. That solution is how we treat one another in our family, our friends and whomever we meet. It is the solution of bringing love and peace to others by our actions and our words.

This past week I was deeply inspired by some stories I had heard. A friend of mine told me about the joy he experienced in helping the poor at the Pope Francis Warming Center in Detroit. This giving to others brought my friend into a profound experience of love and peace. Have you ever reached out to someone who is hurting and brought that person love and compassion and empathy? That experience of bringing compassion to others brings both the giver and receiver into a new depth of love and peace even in the midst of pain. Have you ever hugged a crying baby or a crying toddler?
The crying will often stop and both the hurting child and the loving caregiver become closer connected.

So many people are hurting because of the deaths of loved ones. So many are tense because of being so isolated inside because of COVID-19. What is needed is to experience an energy of love and compassion from others. But this happens quickly if I first bring love and compassion toward others. Kindness and compassion for others becomes like a vaccination of love and peace. It makes both the giver and receiver become more spiritually and emotionally healthy.

When I spend my time judging and condemning others, I make myself emotionally and spiritually unhealthy. I also send out a negative energy to others which doesn’t promote peace and good will.

The more I can send out love to others, the more I contribute to making the world a more peaceful place. The solution to all the problems in life starts with me and how well I can show love and compassion to others. Everyone is hurting today. Everyone needs more love. Joe Biden needs my love. Donald Trump needs my love. All politicians and the whole world need my love. The most conservative person needs my love. The most liberal person needs my love. And everyone in between the most conservative and most liberal needs my love. The world will never become perfect. We will always have problems. But the solution to all problems begins with how loving and kind I am to everyone. I must reach out to my wife, my adult children, my grandchildren, my friends, and everyone I meet and experience this day in a loving, kind and compassionate manner.

To do this well, I need to spend some quiet time with God so I can listen better to the different ways I can experience the best version of myself and experience the presence of an always loving God. This experience helps me to realize that life is always about being kind and loving to everyone. Life is really not that complicated at all, but it is so easy to complicate life and remain in negativity. When I simplify life with quiet time with God, I begin to see the simplicity and goodness of being loving and kind to everyone. It brings an inner peace to me and I end up nudging other people in the right direction without criticizing them. Often in my articles I realize that I am saying the same thing over and over again in many different ways. But life is really quite simple. I know many wonderful people who keep teaching me about the simplicity of being open to God and bringing more love and kindness to others. Tension disappears when love and kindness begins. Silence with God and kind words and actions towards others bring an inner peace into my life which goes out into the whole world.

I can help change the world into a kinder and gentler world by bringing love and compassion to everyone.


Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: and his website is


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