Tracy K. Lorenz ...

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Stuck in the house for three weeks and watching a lot of TV

Has anyone EVER made the dishes they show on morning shows? Ever? Plus they never show the people who have to clean up afterwards.  They should show the cleanup in relation to preparation.

So far I have watched the following sporting events on ESPN:

Marble Racing
Ax Throwing
The College “Slippery Stairs” Championships
Three Michigan State games that I already knew how they ended
College Corn Hole Championships
Professional Miniature Golf

All of which were more watchable than women’s basketball.

And you’d think the Corn Hole players would be a lot better.

The guy who invented the eraser just kept rubbing random things on paper until something worked.

You can tell a lot about an apartment building by the amount of windows using bed sheets for curtains.

In the land of doing things that make you feel like you’ve accomplished something when actually you haven’t, wearing gloves to prevent getting the Corona Virus ranks near the top of the list. Think of it as everything in the world is covered in wet paint, unless you change the gloves every fifteen seconds they aren’t doing a bit of good.

We feed our pets a variety of different tasting food but only one flavor of drink.

For the first time in my life I had a dog look at me as if saying “Please, not another walk.”

The most interesting people you meet are the ones who have lost the fear of appearing weird.

If there was a guy living off the grid and he walked out of the woods this week to get supplies he’d be a bit shocked.

My dog doesn’t know the purpose of a vacuum so he probably thinks I’m doing it just to annoy him.

The toaster invented pop-up notification.

You sit in a chair with armrests but you sit on a chair without armrests.

Three weeks stuck in your house seems like a long time. The people on “Naked and Afraid” spend that same amount of time outdoors without food, water, or clothes.

Somewhere in the month of April handshakes will become officially extinct.
Maybe the earth is just doing a reboot.

One thing is for sure, when people are quarantined they’ll be playing a lot of games. Twister will not be one of them.

Printed by permission of the author. Email him at Lorenzatlarge@aol.com.



Get Tracy’s latest book at BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com, or  download it from www.fastpencil.com.
Only $3.99, cheap.

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