Tracy K. Lorenz / The 'Doc'

Still Quarantined, Still Typing

If you’ve lived in the same house for more than 150 years you can be quite sure it’s haunted.

I could be bulletproof and not even know it.

During the quarantine the air quality around the globe has increased dramatically, This would be a good time for Google Earth to get some new pictures.

Governor Whitmer has it made, if the virus gets worse she can say, ”See I told you you should have stayed inside,” and if the numbers go down she can say “See, I told you it would work.” She can’t lose.

Unless Biden chooses her for a running mate.

Speaking of Whitmer, my biggest fear is now a precedent has been set, now she (or anyone else) can shut things down every time a new strain of a virus or flu comes around.

Eyelids are like little lips.

As a business owner I’ve noticed over the years that if you interrupt a person while they’re working it usually takes about a half hour for them to get back up to speed, back to the pace they were at prior to me interrupting them.  Now multiply that by no one working for two months.

The only part of your skeleton that you clean is your teeth.

I wonder how many of Downtown Muskegon’s craft beer bars will be able to make it through the lockdown financially? I’m guessing at least half close their doors if this thing goes into may.

Bears must be waking up from hibernation in national parks right now really confused.

Hairdresser might want to practice saying “No, really, you did a fine job of cutting your own hair.”

Humans and penguins both express their love by giving their wife a rock.

It would suck to be able to read people's minds and then go to another country where you don’t speak the language.

No one on TV or in the movies sneezes or goes to the bathroom unless it’s a plot device.

For centuries they’ve been selectively breeding dogs to be taller, shorter, faster, have longer hair, have shorter noses ... why don’t they make one that lives longer?

There are two types of people in the world, those who search for the perfect potato chip, and those who just reach into the
bag blind and take whatever they get.

Printed by permission of the author. Email him at Lorenzatlarge@aol.com.
Get Tracy’s latest book at BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com, or  download it from www.fastpencil.com.
Only $3.99, cheap.
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Coronavirus: The Crisis in Caring

There are times in which we experience a crisis and are not aware of it since we may lack a definition of what constitutes a crisis. For the sake of conversation, let us identify a crisis as any event that presses a change in family relationships.  In a crisis, there is always one constant, things will get better or worse, and the family will have a new norm.

For clarity, allow me to offer a few examples of what may categorize a crisis. It can be a new baby, lost employment, your only means of transportation stolen, a death, winning at a casino, or anything the introduces a serious change positive or negative.

Because we lack a general definition of a crisis, many families are not cognizant of how the coronavirus has impacted or is impacting them and their relationships with others. We become more stressed, but the onslaught of the stress is subtle and is not recognized because we are quick to blame others for the stress we experience. This is not to say that others do not contribute to our stress.

The problem is, our ability to negotiate and navigate stressful times becomes more difficult to handle when our anxiety is elevated. Often, when we are stressed, we use medication (medicine, alcohol, sex and drugs) or blame. The blame is usually directed at those close to us.  This is one of the reasons I encourage people to avoid drinking, even socially. I know this suggestion will fall on deaf ears. I am only trying to help.

Stress will, in many cases, press us to gravitate towards things that bring us comfort, drinking, sex, proving others wrong, arguments, talking about the sins of everyone else as if we have none, or our sins are less than others.  One of the biggest reasons we do not recognize stress is because we normalize it.  In other words, the person who is angry all the time does not view themselves as angry; they see everyone as the problem and their anger as a reasonable response.

When we become accustomed to stress, we normalize it and do not realize we are under stress.

The problem is twofold; we do not recognize how it is impacting us and our relationships, and two, the negative symptoms may often not be manifested until we are older.

I would like to offer two thoughts in helping you navigate through this Coronavirus crisis.

I. End the Blame Game

There are two reasons for stress, personality, or environmentally induced. The reality is, some of us are just simply and plainly, uptight people.  We take life and ourselves too seriously.  Some of us wear our feelings on our shoulders so deeply that even a friendly joke comes off as criticism.

This is known as internalized stress. We create stress even when there is nothing for which to be stressed. In times of crisis, such a person will do as they say, “Make a mountain out of a molehill.”

Then there is externalized stress.  This may be a lost job, death, a big win or loss, and the coronavirus. 

The point here is not to fight it, but to recognize it.  When we realize it, we can begin to address it in positive ways with those close to us.

II. Claim It

This is the next step after blame.  Blaming others never has or will ever heal us.  Someone may be the stimulus for our anger, but at the end of the day, we have to own that we are angry and claim it.

Healing can only happen in our claiming our stress or anger regardless of how or who was the stimulus.  When you are stressed or angry, you are hurting. The reality is, hurting people hurt people. When you recognize you are stressed or hurting, claim it, name it then, and only then can the healing begin.

When we can honestly claim it, then we can move to either changing through an accountable relationship or getting help (counseling).

One cannot become healthy until they recognize the unhealthiness within them.  Once you claim it and move to be accountability and get support; together, you will begin to master the crisis and come out a stronger family.  From this point on, your relationship will move from a crisis of conflict to a crisis in where everyone finds the gift of caring.

Dr. Abiade  is President of Abiade & Abiade Associates LLC, a Christian Counseling Community.

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