By Traci Rhoades
My earliest memories of church are somewhere around three or four years old. That first church was a small, white wood building out in the country.
I haven’t lived in that area for more than 30 years now, so I’m not sure I could find my way there, but I could get close. I’m pretty sure the church doors still swing open on Sunday mornings. Maybe Sunday nights and Wednesday nights, too, if it’s like things were when I was a child.
Out back, there were actual outhouses. Am I aging myself?
Maybe mine was a traditional American evangelical church experience; we hosted weeklong revivals every few years. I attended Vacation Bible School at church every summer (sometimes going to others in the greater community as well). And starting sometime around second grade, a handful of friends went with me to church camp, which was halfway between my house, my church, and the town where I went to school.
I have written two books now, both narrative nonfiction. It’s the first book, Not All Who Wander (Spiritually) Are Lost, that mentions these earliest memories of church the most. When an author writes in a memoir style, they go back in their memory to visit those places that helped form the story. Those moments of time when core memories developed, shaping one’s opinion of church.
Let’s establish a working definition of “core memories.” It’s one of those terms we’ve heard of, but identifying when the idea really developed can be a challenge. In the field of psychology, it’s key milestones that happen in our lives, and what our mind, body, and spirit experience during those times, that make a sizable contribution to our sense of identity. Often times, these core memories develop when we’re young.
With the release of the 2015 film, Inside Out, this core memories concept really took off, with the character Joy identifying them as super-important times in the life of the main character, Riley.
One example was the first time she scored a goal in hockey. Once TikTok adopted the term using hashtags like #corememories, the idea appears here to stay.
When I look back on my earliest days of church, the church’s name, Mt. Pleasant, seems fitting. Church made me feel good. I’m naturally curious, so Sunday School lessons held my attention. I recall learning about the creation narrative in Genesis 1, and later on, at home, I’d close my eyes tight to see if I could get my mind to conjure up the nothingness of things before God created it all. I could not.
What was is like for Jonah in that whale? I was very impressed with Samuel’s yes to God’s verbal calling, and wondered if I would have that kind of courage, and opportunity.
It’s the first verse I remember hearing, and it summarizes the core memory experiences I have at that small, country church: “I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let’s go to the house of the Lord.’”
(Psalm 122:1)
So the times, then, when my church experiences have gotten a little rocky – the church truly is such a human institution – I recall these core memories, and they are good. I experienced happiness, security, welcome in my earliest days at church. If the people of God are representatives of Jesus, the Jesus I encountered was loving and steady. Such a gift.
What about those people with adult children who could swear their child had a similar church experience, with similar core memories, yet they’ve wandered? What if they’re not going to church at all, and they’re not sure if the Jesus they encountered then is relevant now? What if they’re not sure Jesus is even who he claimed to be?
We always had an answer for that one: “Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Is this a promise or merely a proverb intended to offer parents good advice?
Surely, we know things to be a bit more complex, and while God will make our paths straight (another popular one, Proverbs 3:5-6), the road may get a little curvy and rocky enroute. Still, we trust God to recall those core memories, and to lead us back to him. We hope all prodigals return home.
For any number of reasons, the core memories other people have surrounding church may not actually be good, or maybe there aren’t any core memories of childhood in church at all. I’m convinced we can trust Jesus here too. It’s my core memories that tell me so.
Jesus loves us, and never stops pursuing us. Yes, core memories are significant in shaping who we are, but God is always bigger. He can help us remember good core memories in those times when church doesn’t seem so good. If we need to overcome hard-core memories that didn’t show us the true, loving heart of Jesus, he’s a faithful guide.
I’m also not convinced our core memories stop at childhood. When church is new as an adult, may a person develop early core memories of church, assuring them of their place in the family of God. Take some time to think on your own core memories of church, and looking back, see how God has worked among them.
—————
Traci Rhoades is an author and Bible teacher who lives in West Michigan with her husband and daughter.
My earliest memories of church are somewhere around three or four years old. That first church was a small, white wood building out in the country.
I haven’t lived in that area for more than 30 years now, so I’m not sure I could find my way there, but I could get close. I’m pretty sure the church doors still swing open on Sunday mornings. Maybe Sunday nights and Wednesday nights, too, if it’s like things were when I was a child.
Out back, there were actual outhouses. Am I aging myself?
Maybe mine was a traditional American evangelical church experience; we hosted weeklong revivals every few years. I attended Vacation Bible School at church every summer (sometimes going to others in the greater community as well). And starting sometime around second grade, a handful of friends went with me to church camp, which was halfway between my house, my church, and the town where I went to school.
I have written two books now, both narrative nonfiction. It’s the first book, Not All Who Wander (Spiritually) Are Lost, that mentions these earliest memories of church the most. When an author writes in a memoir style, they go back in their memory to visit those places that helped form the story. Those moments of time when core memories developed, shaping one’s opinion of church.
Let’s establish a working definition of “core memories.” It’s one of those terms we’ve heard of, but identifying when the idea really developed can be a challenge. In the field of psychology, it’s key milestones that happen in our lives, and what our mind, body, and spirit experience during those times, that make a sizable contribution to our sense of identity. Often times, these core memories develop when we’re young.
With the release of the 2015 film, Inside Out, this core memories concept really took off, with the character Joy identifying them as super-important times in the life of the main character, Riley.
One example was the first time she scored a goal in hockey. Once TikTok adopted the term using hashtags like #corememories, the idea appears here to stay.
When I look back on my earliest days of church, the church’s name, Mt. Pleasant, seems fitting. Church made me feel good. I’m naturally curious, so Sunday School lessons held my attention. I recall learning about the creation narrative in Genesis 1, and later on, at home, I’d close my eyes tight to see if I could get my mind to conjure up the nothingness of things before God created it all. I could not.
What was is like for Jonah in that whale? I was very impressed with Samuel’s yes to God’s verbal calling, and wondered if I would have that kind of courage, and opportunity.
It’s the first verse I remember hearing, and it summarizes the core memory experiences I have at that small, country church: “I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let’s go to the house of the Lord.’”
(Psalm 122:1)
So the times, then, when my church experiences have gotten a little rocky – the church truly is such a human institution – I recall these core memories, and they are good. I experienced happiness, security, welcome in my earliest days at church. If the people of God are representatives of Jesus, the Jesus I encountered was loving and steady. Such a gift.
What about those people with adult children who could swear their child had a similar church experience, with similar core memories, yet they’ve wandered? What if they’re not going to church at all, and they’re not sure if the Jesus they encountered then is relevant now? What if they’re not sure Jesus is even who he claimed to be?
We always had an answer for that one: “Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Is this a promise or merely a proverb intended to offer parents good advice?
Surely, we know things to be a bit more complex, and while God will make our paths straight (another popular one, Proverbs 3:5-6), the road may get a little curvy and rocky enroute. Still, we trust God to recall those core memories, and to lead us back to him. We hope all prodigals return home.
For any number of reasons, the core memories other people have surrounding church may not actually be good, or maybe there aren’t any core memories of childhood in church at all. I’m convinced we can trust Jesus here too. It’s my core memories that tell me so.
Jesus loves us, and never stops pursuing us. Yes, core memories are significant in shaping who we are, but God is always bigger. He can help us remember good core memories in those times when church doesn’t seem so good. If we need to overcome hard-core memories that didn’t show us the true, loving heart of Jesus, he’s a faithful guide.
I’m also not convinced our core memories stop at childhood. When church is new as an adult, may a person develop early core memories of church, assuring them of their place in the family of God. Take some time to think on your own core memories of church, and looking back, see how God has worked among them.
—————
Traci Rhoades is an author and Bible teacher who lives in West Michigan with her husband and daughter.
