Sarah Kuchon
Municipal law relies on zoning regulations, building codes, permits, and other tools to create safe, healthy communities. Similarly, personal boundaries serve as an internal infrastructure to support and promote a healthy, balanced life. Just as zoning laws are designed to separate incompatible uses, boundaries help us create clear distinctions between different parts of our life. Without these boundaries, just like in a poorly zoned city, areas of our life can bleed into one another, creating conflict, resentment, and imbalance.
Building codes ensure that structures are safe, stable, and built to withstand stress before they can be inhabited. Similarly, we need to make sure our commitments are well constructed, that we have the time, energy, and resources to support them, before we take them on. Without that foundation, even well-intentioned commitments can collapse under pressure. Permits, too, require thoughtful review and approval before new construction begins. In the same way, it is imperative that we give our life thoughtful review and grant approval to rest, to say no, or to step back.
Just as municipal systems prevent unsafe or chaotic development, boundaries protect us from overextension and create the conditions for well-being, clarity, and sustainable growth.
For many in the legal profession, setting healthy boundaries does not come naturally. We’re trained to be problem-solvers and protectors, to lean in, say yes, and run toward the fire. The idea of saying no can feel selfish or disloyal. But healthy boundaries are not about turning people away.
They are about honoring our needs so we can show up with clarity, intention, and authenticity. Boundaries are essential to protecting our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Without clear limits, we risk burnout, resentment, emotional fatigue, and disconnection from others and ourselves.
Walking the Perimeter
Healthy boundaries begin with self-awareness. By checking in with our capacity each day, we are more likely to respond to life instead of reacting to it. Capacity refers to the mental, emotional, and physical energy we have available on any given day. It fluctuates based on sleep, stress, health, workload, and life events. Recognizing our daily capacity allows us to adjust expectations of ourselves and others. Some days, we operate at full strength. Other days, we may need to rest, reset, or retreat. Honoring that rhythm is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom. Every so often, we need to walk our mental perimeter, asking ourselves: Are we overextending? Are we ignoring warning signs? Are we letting things in that don’t support our well-being?
Give Yourself the Permit
The demands of the profession often make it difficult to retreat, disconnect, or say no. Lawyers feel the pressure to be constantly available to clients and employers. But just as permits ensure safe development, giving yourself permission supports sustainable living. Boundaries may look different for everyone: turning off email after 7 p.m., saying no to a nonessential meeting, or finally using vacation time. Sometimes, it’s as simple as asking, “What do I need right now?” Healthy boundaries do not make you less available. They make you sustainably available. By clearly communicating your limits, you increase trust and reliability. People know what to expect from you and what not to.
Encroachment Happens Quietly
Setting personal boundaries is like enforcing zoning laws. You decide what belongs where. Just as cities don’t allow factories in residential zones, we should not allow constant work demands in spaces meant for rest or connection.
Boundary encroachments often happen slowly. It starts with one late-night email. Then a weekend call. An “urgent” request that can’t wait until morning. Over time, we stop recognizing the edges of our own well-being.
We justify it: It’s just this once. I’m being helpful. This is what commitment looks like. But these small concessions compound and quietly drain us.
Without enforcement, boundaries crumble. In the same way that we’d advise a client not to let a neighbor slowly annex their yard, we must learn to protect our time and energy. Saying yes when we want to say no or ignoring our gut to avoid discomfort leads to resentment and burnout. What could have been solved with a simple conversation can escalate into frustration, or even conflict.
Clarity Prevents Conflict
Many people worry that setting boundaries will make them seem inflexible, unhelpful, or even selfish. However, exhaustion is not a badge of honor. It is depletion, not dedication.
A clearly communicated boundary is a form of respect, both for ourselves and for others. It creates predictability, reduces misunderstandings, and helps prevent resentment from building over time. Boundaries are not about being rigid. They are about being honest and clear about what you can offer, what you’re willing to take on, and where your limits lie. They define where your work ends and your personal life begins, making space for both to exist in a healthier balance.
Ask yourself: Are you clear with clients, colleagues, and loved ones about your availability and capacity?
Enforce to Empower
It is not enough to declare a boundary. You must also enforce it. That means not answering the phone after hours, even when we have the urge to do so. Consistency builds credibility. When others see you respecting your own limits, they are more likely to respect them, too. Boundaries are not about being unavailable. They are about being present in a sustainable way. Boundaries are what help us stay grounded, responsive, and effective over the long term without burning out.
Support Is Not Weakness
In the legal world, we bring in surveyors to mark property boundaries with precision. In our personal and professional lives, we may need help doing the same. Sometimes it’s difficult to see where our limits should be, especially when we’re overwhelmed, emotionally invested, or stuck in long-standing patterns. Support can come from therapy, mentorship, peer groups, or simply honest self-reflection. Just as we trust professionals to assess and define property lines, we can benefit from an outside perspective when our own boundaries feel blurred or uncertain. There is no shame in seeking help. In fact, it’s often a sign of strength and self-awareness. Early intervention, as in legal disputes, can prevent escalation, helping us avoid emotional overload before it turns into burnout or resentment. Identifying and reinforcing our boundaries can lead to healthier relationships, clearer communication, and a stronger sense of self.
Boundaries Build Resilience
Boundary work, like legal work, is never really done. With strong boundaries, we become better lawyers, colleagues, friends, and humans. We operate with more clarity and less resentment. However, boundaries must evolve. Needs change based on health, family demands, or life transitions. What felt manageable last month may feel overwhelming today. Adjusting is not failure; it’s growth.
The best lawyers are not just zealous advocates. They are thoughtful, self-aware professionals who know when to step up and when to step back.
The next time you’re pulled in too many directions, pause and check your internal property lines. Are they where they need to be? Before you say yes to one more thing, take a breath. Listen to your body, your mind, your instincts. Then honor that wisdom.
Sarah E. Kuchon, of Hohauser Kuchon, is the 93rd president of the Oakland County Bar Association.
Building codes ensure that structures are safe, stable, and built to withstand stress before they can be inhabited. Similarly, we need to make sure our commitments are well constructed, that we have the time, energy, and resources to support them, before we take them on. Without that foundation, even well-intentioned commitments can collapse under pressure. Permits, too, require thoughtful review and approval before new construction begins. In the same way, it is imperative that we give our life thoughtful review and grant approval to rest, to say no, or to step back.
Just as municipal systems prevent unsafe or chaotic development, boundaries protect us from overextension and create the conditions for well-being, clarity, and sustainable growth.
For many in the legal profession, setting healthy boundaries does not come naturally. We’re trained to be problem-solvers and protectors, to lean in, say yes, and run toward the fire. The idea of saying no can feel selfish or disloyal. But healthy boundaries are not about turning people away.
They are about honoring our needs so we can show up with clarity, intention, and authenticity. Boundaries are essential to protecting our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Without clear limits, we risk burnout, resentment, emotional fatigue, and disconnection from others and ourselves.
Walking the Perimeter
Healthy boundaries begin with self-awareness. By checking in with our capacity each day, we are more likely to respond to life instead of reacting to it. Capacity refers to the mental, emotional, and physical energy we have available on any given day. It fluctuates based on sleep, stress, health, workload, and life events. Recognizing our daily capacity allows us to adjust expectations of ourselves and others. Some days, we operate at full strength. Other days, we may need to rest, reset, or retreat. Honoring that rhythm is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom. Every so often, we need to walk our mental perimeter, asking ourselves: Are we overextending? Are we ignoring warning signs? Are we letting things in that don’t support our well-being?
Give Yourself the Permit
The demands of the profession often make it difficult to retreat, disconnect, or say no. Lawyers feel the pressure to be constantly available to clients and employers. But just as permits ensure safe development, giving yourself permission supports sustainable living. Boundaries may look different for everyone: turning off email after 7 p.m., saying no to a nonessential meeting, or finally using vacation time. Sometimes, it’s as simple as asking, “What do I need right now?” Healthy boundaries do not make you less available. They make you sustainably available. By clearly communicating your limits, you increase trust and reliability. People know what to expect from you and what not to.
Encroachment Happens Quietly
Setting personal boundaries is like enforcing zoning laws. You decide what belongs where. Just as cities don’t allow factories in residential zones, we should not allow constant work demands in spaces meant for rest or connection.
Boundary encroachments often happen slowly. It starts with one late-night email. Then a weekend call. An “urgent” request that can’t wait until morning. Over time, we stop recognizing the edges of our own well-being.
We justify it: It’s just this once. I’m being helpful. This is what commitment looks like. But these small concessions compound and quietly drain us.
Without enforcement, boundaries crumble. In the same way that we’d advise a client not to let a neighbor slowly annex their yard, we must learn to protect our time and energy. Saying yes when we want to say no or ignoring our gut to avoid discomfort leads to resentment and burnout. What could have been solved with a simple conversation can escalate into frustration, or even conflict.
Clarity Prevents Conflict
Many people worry that setting boundaries will make them seem inflexible, unhelpful, or even selfish. However, exhaustion is not a badge of honor. It is depletion, not dedication.
A clearly communicated boundary is a form of respect, both for ourselves and for others. It creates predictability, reduces misunderstandings, and helps prevent resentment from building over time. Boundaries are not about being rigid. They are about being honest and clear about what you can offer, what you’re willing to take on, and where your limits lie. They define where your work ends and your personal life begins, making space for both to exist in a healthier balance.
Ask yourself: Are you clear with clients, colleagues, and loved ones about your availability and capacity?
Enforce to Empower
It is not enough to declare a boundary. You must also enforce it. That means not answering the phone after hours, even when we have the urge to do so. Consistency builds credibility. When others see you respecting your own limits, they are more likely to respect them, too. Boundaries are not about being unavailable. They are about being present in a sustainable way. Boundaries are what help us stay grounded, responsive, and effective over the long term without burning out.
Support Is Not Weakness
In the legal world, we bring in surveyors to mark property boundaries with precision. In our personal and professional lives, we may need help doing the same. Sometimes it’s difficult to see where our limits should be, especially when we’re overwhelmed, emotionally invested, or stuck in long-standing patterns. Support can come from therapy, mentorship, peer groups, or simply honest self-reflection. Just as we trust professionals to assess and define property lines, we can benefit from an outside perspective when our own boundaries feel blurred or uncertain. There is no shame in seeking help. In fact, it’s often a sign of strength and self-awareness. Early intervention, as in legal disputes, can prevent escalation, helping us avoid emotional overload before it turns into burnout or resentment. Identifying and reinforcing our boundaries can lead to healthier relationships, clearer communication, and a stronger sense of self.
Boundaries Build Resilience
Boundary work, like legal work, is never really done. With strong boundaries, we become better lawyers, colleagues, friends, and humans. We operate with more clarity and less resentment. However, boundaries must evolve. Needs change based on health, family demands, or life transitions. What felt manageable last month may feel overwhelming today. Adjusting is not failure; it’s growth.
The best lawyers are not just zealous advocates. They are thoughtful, self-aware professionals who know when to step up and when to step back.
The next time you’re pulled in too many directions, pause and check your internal property lines. Are they where they need to be? Before you say yes to one more thing, take a breath. Listen to your body, your mind, your instincts. Then honor that wisdom.
Sarah E. Kuchon, of Hohauser Kuchon, is the 93rd president of the Oakland County Bar Association.
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