It seems so common to focus on what is wrong with the world and what is wrong with other people. If we examine our conversations with other people, we can realize that they quickly turn into negative comments about the world or about other people. Conversations about praising other people and conversations about seeing the good in people can often be ignored or minimized. When we engage in negative thinking and conversations, we put ourselves into an emotional prison that blocks us from experiencing true joy in life. We lose inner freedom and peace when we are negative and critical. But when we are positive and loving we send out into the world love that uplifts people and creates an emotional and spiritual freedom within ourselves. 

When people get depressed, they press down on feelings that need to be embraced. Sometimes these feelings are about the pain of the death of someone close to us. At other times it becomes an unhealthy investment of negative thinking about other people. When I allow myself to feel my pain, I will discover an ability to be positive and loving. But when I engage in anger and criticism I will I be investing in misery and unhappiness.

At my favorite restaurant, the Brunch Bar, a breakfast and brunch restaurant, people come from all over to enjoy the loving ambience and delicious food. I go there often and as I enter the restaurant I am greeted with such kindness and love. Yes, the food is excellent but there is such love and kindness in the owner and all her waitresses and waiters. I love to go there because there is love in the air surrounding everyone. Places like this are like a foretaste of heaven.

I am so convinced that when I am positive, loving, and kind to everyone, I will experience an inner freedom and a deeper awareness of the purpose of my journey in this short life. Making a conscious effort to be affirming and positive and kind to other people will free me from negative thinking and actions. It is so amazing when I do this. 

I often listen to the positive songs of Peter, Paul and Mary. They are so upbeat and were sung more than fifty years ago. As I write this article, I realize more why I like these songs. They are about hope, love, and kindness and becoming positive.

If you look over the people you have known in your life who were kind and affirming, you discover what joyful people are like: positive and loving. What a healthy way to choose to live: Be positive and loving. Maybe this is what life is supposed to be all about. Joy does not come from being negative. It is the result of love and kindness, which helps everyone have a positive experience of living and a positive experience of a loving God. Yes, there is such joy in being positive.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan.

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