Zenell Brown
Bomani Gray
As August is Child Support Month in Michigan and child support touches a large segment of Detroit legal community, I held a conversation with G. Bomani Gray for Coffee and Conversation.
Bomani Gray is the University of Michigan’s Project Director of the Coalition of Practitioners for Father Support. With the support of the University of Michigan School of Social Work, Bomani Gray serves as the project director for the Michigan Action Plan for Father Involvement (MAP-FI), helping to create “Michigan’s Children with a Father-Fueled Future.”
Bomani and I have known each other over a decade as our respective work paths families and child support crossed. While enjoying our morning beverages, Bomani shares his reflections on changing court practices, the value of Dad Cafes, and a vision for justice systems that recognize fathers as whole people and meaningful participants in their children’s lives.
Zenell: When we talk about fathers and the justice system, what do you most want court and legal professionals to understand?
Bomani: I would like to see greater understanding — and perhaps greater compassion — for fathers who interact with the justice system. That requires court and legal professionals to look beyond their personal experiences and the stereotypes they may commonly encounter.
Some fathers are doing the very best they can under difficult circumstances. We need to recognize that traditional views of fathers were often shaped by earlier expectations about gender and family roles. Those expectations do not always reflect the realities of today’s families or the complexities of an individual father’s life.
Zenell: Are you seeing changes in how courts engage with fathers?
Bomani: Yes. Courts are doing better, particularly in the language they use when speaking to and about fathers. We are also seeing courts consider responses other than incarceration when fathers are unable to meet their child-support obligations.
It is encouraging that the old “lock them up” approach and the broad labeling of fathers as “deadbeat dads” are no longer as accepted as they once were. There is also greater support for fathers who genuinely want to be engaged and involved in their children’s lives.
Zenell: Tell me about the network supporting this work.
Bomani: Our organization has approximately 300 representatives. The network includes fatherhood organizations, courts, governmental agencies, and other community partners. Bringing these groups together creates opportunities to improve systems, strengthen relationships, and better support fathers and families.
Zenell: One of the initiatives you mentioned was the Dad Cafes. What are they?
Bomani: For the past three years, we have held Dad Cafes to provide fathers with a welcoming, non-adversarial introduction to the court system. The cafes allow fathers to engage with court and child-support professionals in a setting that is very different from a courtroom.
The sessions help dispel common myths about the courts — including beliefs that the system is inherently biased against fathers or primarily interested in locking people up.
Zenell: Where have the Dad Cafes been held?
Bomani: Sessions have been held in Calhoun County, Grand Rapids, and Wayne County. Approximately four to six sessions are offered each year, with the involvement of the Office of Child Support.
Zenell: What difference have these conversations made?
Bomani: They have helped build better relationships between fathers and court systems. When fathers meet court professionals in a less formal environment, they can ask questions, better understand court processes, and begin to see the people within the system differently. Court professionals also gain an opportunity to listen directly to fathers and better understand their experiences.
Zenell: What is your broader vision for this work?
Bomani: The vision is to reimagine court systems in which families are at the center and fathers are supported in playing meaningful roles in their children’s lives.
To achieve that vision, we must move beyond traditional assumptions and negative stereotypes about fathers. We must be willing to see the whole person and recognize the complexities of fatherhood including how race, socioeconomic circumstances, family history, access to resources, and other human dimensions may shape a father’s experiences.
Ultimately, this is about building court systems that see fathers not simply through the problems that brought them to court, but as parents who may need information, support, accountability, and a meaningful opportunity to remain involved in their children’s lives.
Zenell: Bomani, it’s always a pleasure talking with you. Where can lawyers and court professionals who work with dads find more info on MAP-FI.
Bomani: www.Map-fi.org
Zenell: Bomani, stay safe. Happy Child Support Month. It’s been a great conversation. Keep up the meaningful work and talk to you soon.
Bomani Gray is the University of Michigan’s Project Director of the Coalition of Practitioners for Father Support. With the support of the University of Michigan School of Social Work, Bomani Gray serves as the project director for the Michigan Action Plan for Father Involvement (MAP-FI), helping to create “Michigan’s Children with a Father-Fueled Future.”
Bomani and I have known each other over a decade as our respective work paths families and child support crossed. While enjoying our morning beverages, Bomani shares his reflections on changing court practices, the value of Dad Cafes, and a vision for justice systems that recognize fathers as whole people and meaningful participants in their children’s lives.
Zenell: When we talk about fathers and the justice system, what do you most want court and legal professionals to understand?
Bomani: I would like to see greater understanding — and perhaps greater compassion — for fathers who interact with the justice system. That requires court and legal professionals to look beyond their personal experiences and the stereotypes they may commonly encounter.
Some fathers are doing the very best they can under difficult circumstances. We need to recognize that traditional views of fathers were often shaped by earlier expectations about gender and family roles. Those expectations do not always reflect the realities of today’s families or the complexities of an individual father’s life.
Zenell: Are you seeing changes in how courts engage with fathers?
Bomani: Yes. Courts are doing better, particularly in the language they use when speaking to and about fathers. We are also seeing courts consider responses other than incarceration when fathers are unable to meet their child-support obligations.
It is encouraging that the old “lock them up” approach and the broad labeling of fathers as “deadbeat dads” are no longer as accepted as they once were. There is also greater support for fathers who genuinely want to be engaged and involved in their children’s lives.
Zenell: Tell me about the network supporting this work.
Bomani: Our organization has approximately 300 representatives. The network includes fatherhood organizations, courts, governmental agencies, and other community partners. Bringing these groups together creates opportunities to improve systems, strengthen relationships, and better support fathers and families.
Zenell: One of the initiatives you mentioned was the Dad Cafes. What are they?
Bomani: For the past three years, we have held Dad Cafes to provide fathers with a welcoming, non-adversarial introduction to the court system. The cafes allow fathers to engage with court and child-support professionals in a setting that is very different from a courtroom.
The sessions help dispel common myths about the courts — including beliefs that the system is inherently biased against fathers or primarily interested in locking people up.
Zenell: Where have the Dad Cafes been held?
Bomani: Sessions have been held in Calhoun County, Grand Rapids, and Wayne County. Approximately four to six sessions are offered each year, with the involvement of the Office of Child Support.
Zenell: What difference have these conversations made?
Bomani: They have helped build better relationships between fathers and court systems. When fathers meet court professionals in a less formal environment, they can ask questions, better understand court processes, and begin to see the people within the system differently. Court professionals also gain an opportunity to listen directly to fathers and better understand their experiences.
Zenell: What is your broader vision for this work?
Bomani: The vision is to reimagine court systems in which families are at the center and fathers are supported in playing meaningful roles in their children’s lives.
To achieve that vision, we must move beyond traditional assumptions and negative stereotypes about fathers. We must be willing to see the whole person and recognize the complexities of fatherhood including how race, socioeconomic circumstances, family history, access to resources, and other human dimensions may shape a father’s experiences.
Ultimately, this is about building court systems that see fathers not simply through the problems that brought them to court, but as parents who may need information, support, accountability, and a meaningful opportunity to remain involved in their children’s lives.
Zenell: Bomani, it’s always a pleasure talking with you. Where can lawyers and court professionals who work with dads find more info on MAP-FI.
Bomani: www.Map-fi.org
Zenell: Bomani, stay safe. Happy Child Support Month. It’s been a great conversation. Keep up the meaningful work and talk to you soon.
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