COUNSELOR'S CORNER: Academy Awards and all-stars

By Fred Cavaiani

The Academy Awards and the NBA All-Star game made their annual appearance this past Sunday. Both events celebrated the best in their field. These two events symbolize the result of hard work and determination. To win an Academy Award and to be chosen to play in an All Star game is to be acknowledged and affirmed that you are a very important and successful person in your profession. In a very public manner the world becomes your audience and affirms you.

Each of us travels through life with a deep desire to be affirmed and loved. There is a hidden desire in all of us to feel important just like any Academy Award winner and any All-Star. It is the reason we watch the Oscar presentations and the NBA All-Star game. We rejoice vicariously with Academy Award Nominees, Oscar winners and All-Stars. Yet most of us will never receive an Academy Award or make the All-Star game.

Yet all of us deserve an Academy Award and all of us deserve to be on an All-Star team. There is an Oscar and an All-Star within each of us. We are born. We live. We die. Between our birth and our death we face many struggles and joys. Each of us has conquered demons that no one else knows about. Each of us has succeeded in facing trials that no one else will ever discover.

Every woman who gives birth deserves an Academy Award and is on the All-Star team of courage. Every person who has stared cancer directly in the face with operations, radiation and chemotherapy should be awarded an Oscar for living life with determination and honor and bravery. Every parent, mother, and father who love their children with empathy, compassion and consistency are on the All Star team of parenting.

Every man and woman who daily learns to be quiet and listen to the Divine speaking within joins the All-Star team of Spirituality and Wisdom. Each person who learns to forgive when deeply hurt by someone should be given the Academy Award of Profound Living.

When someone embraces the emotional ups and downs in life without complaining but only with the desire to learn and go forward is on the All Star Team of Correct Living. When someone embraces the death of a loved one with an acceptance of the pain that is present with the consistent desire to go forward with compassion toward all should receive the Oscar for Loving Wisdom and Bravery.

If you are reading this article, you are an Oscar Winner and an All Star. There are areas in your life that are filled with courage, bravery and altruistic love. There are successes and failures in your life that you have faced with humility and acceptance. Each of us are Oscar Winners and All-Stars.

Appreciate yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back, a warm hug and a powerful affirmation. You are precious and a delight. Never underestimate the importance you have had on the journey in your life. You have positively influenced many people that you will never find out about. You have brought hope and joy to people that you cannot even remember meeting. You have given family members love and hope that you and they may never realize or remember, but that hope and joy has very powerfully influenced their lives. Every hug and kiss and kind word to your children has had a lasting impact. Every kind word to a friend has brought a gleam of light and love into his or her life. Every kind act to a stranger has given them hope in the human race again.

There are no unimportant people. Everyone is an All Star and an Oscar winner. Look around you. You will find these All Stars and Oscar winners everywhere. Look into the mirror. There you will discover an Oscar Winner and All Star who has been with you for a very long time.


Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at (248)362-3340. His e-mail address is: and his website is

Published: Tue, Feb 28, 2012